This is a story about vice and the randomness of human nature. It follows a Lower East Side bartender with a spandex fetish. He reflects on his days as a tech support rep, struggling musician, and real estate agent while interacting with drunks, a drug addled stripper, starving artists, jittery natives, criminals, crazies, and a narcoleptic manager.Upon finding a pair of biker shorts at a young age, Scott learns of sexual pleasure in all the wrong ways. He begins an insatiable journey to buy more, steal more, and wear more spandex. He joins the swim team for a day to get a Speedo, steals them from sporting goods stores, and breaks into a house after convincing himself he'll find spandex inside. This is just the beginning. He hides away and dances for himself while getting paranoid that people are spying on him. He wears a ski mask in order to wear them outside without anyone recognizing him, and later starts accentuating his shiny pleasures with drugs. He's constantly telling himself, "This is the last time!" but he is far from the last time. His material fixation won't subside until he's been driven to the highest highs, the lowest lows, and the far reaches of narcissistic pleasure.
Author: Scott Gibson
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